Fighting Back Against Childhood Anxiety

By Samantha Bodnar

I felt like a thousand pound weight was sitting on my chest. It felt hard to take a deep breath, yet despite this feeling my breathing quickened. The room started to spin as my eyes looked around for an object to focus on. An object to take my mind off the thoughts bouncing around in my head like they were running a marathon. But no matter how hard I looked, I couldn’t find something to help myself stop feeling like this. 

All these feelings are ones I have felt and still feel today, as I continue to battle the anxiety that I have had since I was a child. The hard part about anxiety is that you never know when it may come back. Whether I was at an event or even just going to school, my anxiety has come and tried to take over at many of these places. Though I could have let the fears I was facing control my life, I decided to take a step forward in order to help me face my anxiety. This step was creating Dusty’s Garden. 

Dusty’s Garden is my imaginative safe place that I have used in order to help me through times of panic. As a child, I loved my family cat, Dusty. He always seemed to give me a sense of calm when I was younger, even though I sometimes didn’t know what was happening to me during my panic attacks. Since I knew that my cat couldn’t come to school with me, I created Dusty’s Garden as a way for me to imagine having my cat there even when he was at home. In Dusty’s Garden, I applied the tools I had learned from other books, like imagining my worries as tomatoes (Huebner, 2006), and then put my own creative spin onto that idea. So instead of just having tomatoes I squashed, I created my own ketchup factory in Dusty’s Garden, so I could imagine my worries turning into something good. 

My cat, Dusty, passed away in October of 2019. As a way to remember how he helped me through my times of anxiety, I decided to create a book about Dusty’s Garden as a way to help other children with anxiety. So in the summer of 2020, during the pandemic, I worked on my book and had it self-published and printed. Since its initial printing, I have seen a great response to my book. I am thankful that my readers find it as a resource that helps children with anxiety.                                                                                                               

Two of my readers have shared, “Great workbook and super relatable. My twin 4 year olds loved the story. Very easy to read and they loved the interactive coloring pages. Excellent work on a sensitive adult topic.”  “What an amazing tool for children with anxiety! My 12 year old daughter started writing in the workbook, following right along, not even realizing how much it was helping to calm her. Highly Recommend.”

Even though Dusty’s Garden has been able to help me with my anxiety, that doesn’t mean that I don’t still face these feelings. Through every panic attack I have faced, I have only grown stronger and stronger. Deciding to not let my anxiety control me was and still is one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. I am so thankful to everyone, especially my parents, my brother, and my many counselors who encouraged me through these tough times. Most of all, I am thankful that God is always there to help me through my moments of panic.  He helped provide me the idea of Dusty’s Garden so I could not only help myself through the panic I face, but also use it as a tool to now help others who also face anxiety. 

If you are interested in finding out more about Dusty’s Garden or how to purchase the book, please visit my website at www.dustysgarden.com. 

Reference:

Huebner, D. (2006).What to do When you Worry too Much: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety.  Magination Press.

 Samantha Bodnar is a freshman at Clearview Regional High School. She dedicates her time to her faith, family and pets. Samantha has struggled with anxiety since she was in Grade 2; she has found the use of Dusty’s Garden provides her with a “safe space” free from her fears and worries. Samantha wants to grow up to be a psychologist and use animal therapy to help others.